RECREATIONAL VEHICLE LEGITIMACY BUREAU
Office of Informal Acquisition Assessment
SYSTEM ONLINE
PUBLIC SCREENING TOOL • REV. 4.21

IS THIS FOUR WHEELER STOLEN?

Advanced recreational vehicle legitimacy screening using paperwork integrity, seller behavior, Marketplace linguistics, and proprietary cousin-risk analysis.

IMPORTANT: This is a satire tool, not a law-enforcement or government database. It cannot determine whether a vehicle is actually stolen. For real verification, check the VIN, ownership documents, seller identity, and applicable state/local records.

Optional photo upload available. The photo is used for fake scan theater and the final report card, not the actual likelihood score.

VIN vibes engineREADY
Zip-tie density modelREADY
Marketplace syntax parserREADY
Visual intake subsystemOPTIONAL
Parish cousin graphUNVERIFIED
Database freshness: emotionally current
OPTIONAL FIELD PHOTO

Upload the machine, or don’t.

A photo makes the fake visual scan and the final legitimacy certificate funnier. It is not used to calculate the actual stolen-ish score.

GOOD NEWS: The upload is optional. If you’re standing in a parking lot, on Marketplace, or generally don’t feel like dealing with a file picker, just continue without a photo.

Translation: you can absolutely skip this and still get the full questionnaire and result.

FIELD IMAGE INTAKE NO FILE PROVIDED
OPTIONAL PHOTO SLOT If you upload a photo, it will get fake-scanned and included on the final report card.
No photo selected. The Bureau remains calm.
VISUAL SCREENING IN PROGRESS

INITIALIZING PHOTO INTAKE.

This step is pure theater. The actual score still comes from the questionnaire.

VISUAL FIELD INPUT THEORETICAL MODE
NO PHOTO PROVIDED Proceeding with hypothetical visual analysis and extreme confidence.

Uploading is optional. If you provided a photo, it appears on the final legitimacy report. The picture itself does not decide the score.

RVLB // VISUAL INTAKE CONSOLE 0%
LEGITIMACY QUESTIONNAIRE

Tell us what you know.

Answer based on the listing, the seller, and the machine in front of you. Do not improve the facts to protect your own purchase decision.

QUESTION 1 OF 12
ANALYSIS IN PROGRESS

DO NOT CLOSE THIS WINDOW.

Cross-referencing answers against the Recreational Vehicle Legitimacy Model™.

RVLB // FIELD ANALYSIS CONSOLE 0%
SCREENING RESULT
CASE #RV-000000
87%
STOLEN-ISH

PROBABLY FINECALL YOUR FRIEND WHO KNOWS ATVsABSOLUTELY NOT

Detected risk factors

FIELD DOCUMENTATION

Your totally official-looking report.

Generate a square 1080×1080 field report with your score, case number, and most concerning findings. If you uploaded a photo, it will be embedded in the report card. The satire disclaimer stays attached to the image wherever it goes.